Please help me Jesus I need you more today than I did yesterday

“Please help me Jesus I need you more today than I did yesterday.”

After a dozen years as a traveling evangelist and five years pastoring in the state of Georgia and now eight years pastoring in the state of Mississippi, I have learned so much and now understand much more about myself. In the process of working within this rural country setting I have now come to realize I am not the man to help these wonderful people nor am I equipped to help or even change things for the better for this wonderful church.

Rural Country ministry is very hard and does get very messy for everyone involved, especially those who are in the ministry. While I as a minister of the gospel still believe the church is the greatest hope of the entire world, I look back on the way that I have been treated in my ministry by the people I have pastored. I also look back on the way that I treated others during my time of ministry and realize that I too could have done many things differently. I stand in awe today at how I have allowed myself and my wife to suffer so in these churches that I have pastored at the hands of ruthless Church members. I look at all of these things with so many regrets.

I have put so much focus on reaching people, helping people to change and grow in the grace of God. In all of this I did not worry about myself and my own wife, I knew we were very strong and had what it took to make it. I really did stand up against all the spiritual bullies who stood against the will and desires of the majority of the saints who made up the congregations I pastored. I really did not stand up for my rights as a pastor and due to all of these hard core situations my life has been damaged and so has the life of my wife.

Though I am pastoring and am the leader, feeder and shepherd of the church and I am the CEO of the corporation, I have received very little respect from many of the people. I have worked hard to be there when the congregation needed me for prayer or to answer their many questions and help them in their need of advice, but on the inside, I as a man of God am simply withering away.

“Please help me Jesus I need you more today than I d