"How do Church Leaders (pastors) deal with people who do not like you?"
How do we as church leaders (pastors) deal with people who do not like us?
Anyone who is a pastor, teacher or leader knows that leadership is a lonely place often times, and they have a big target on their back that can be large and sizeable, easily shot at.
Maybe I am the only church leader (pastor), but I am pretty sure I am not the only one out here who has a church member or for that matter a couple church couples that just do not like me, and I mean really they do not like me.
In all of these cases, it seemed to have started with a couple leadership decisions that I made that they did not like. Then it continued on with the times that I preached about Christian accountable and then challenged the church members to live more like Jesus Christ. They all became upset with me at the same time and have been holding onto that anger against me and publicly voice their differences to other people in the Church Community and also to many in the surrounding community as if they are ordained of God to guide the church away from my leadership vision. Maybe most of you as leaders (pastors) have never experienced this, but for those that have or those that have not yet, it is a good thing to know, because being in leadership (pastor) is a lonely place often times, and the target on your back can be sizeable. Here are some things that I have learned in dealing with church members like this.
We as pastors, teachers and leaders must kill those who dislike us with kindness of course: These are the church members that I often go out of my way to please – dropping by their home every so often, especially when they call and say they have to talk to me, (which most often is not a positive time), or meet them in town – and really try to rebuild that bridge or build some trust again. This is not because I need them to like me, but being intentional with them as church members trying to make it easier to avoid these times of disorder will mean something to them, even if not immediate or right away. Being gracious and relentlessly forgiving is what the best leaders (pastors) I know do. A real godly pastor lives a life of daily forgiveness and leads as though they have no oppositions in life.
We as leaders (pastors) must accept this as life: If there is a church member that despises you but shows up for church services week in and week out, CONGRATULATIONS PASTOR! You are doing a great and wonderful job! When church service becomes more and more about praise, worship, and what is being preached from the Bible, and not about who is doing the teaching or preaching, this is a sign of good leadership and a strong church community.
When a pastor’s ministry becomes just a personality cult, hanging onto the charisma of a human leader, it is unsustainable and destined for sudden failure. Sometimes, you need to accept that not every church member is going to ever be on board with your dreams and vision.
At some point pastors, we must move on: There will come a point where you have tried everything you know to do. It is at that point where you have exhausted all of your options. That point where you have drank too many bad, stale cups of coffee with these who dislike you and you have wasted so much of your valuable time trying to pamper and help them and they continue to be disgruntled. It is now time for you to move on. But do not mistake this moving on as you writing off those church members as failing them, never forget all that you have done for them in times past. But understand this is a sign of your moving forward for the benefit of the entire church community. When you focus your energies, time and effort on the church members who want to be discipled and they begin to bloom, blossom and they get involved with the working of the church and they begin to grow, spiritually eventually those church members which are disgruntled and dislike you will decide whether or not they want to become a participant in what is going on in the church or whether they are going to remain on the outside looking in or maybe even find themselves another church to go and be miserable in, these kind will find fault with ever leader (pastor) and every church.
It is important that we as pastors and church leaders move on, focusing on what we are called to do, and make disciples of the church members that come under our leadership, investing our time, energies and efforts in the ones who desire to fulfill the will of God and continually reaching for others who are searching and reaching for the kingdom of God.
Remember this, leaders (pastors) do not waste your ministry, time and efforts on the people who are always trying to control and manipulate you, you will never please them. Give your ministry to the church members who accept your leadership vision and build a great church around them.
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