I was awakened early this morning with so many thoughts in my mind. I got out of bed as the sun was coming up and started brewing a pot of FOLGER’S to get my morning off to a great start. What a refreshing time to be up, while everything is still and quiet. I spent my time with the Lord in prayer and in reading my Bible thinking I could get away from all these thoughts that were still in my mind so here goes, I just decided to write.
My life has been so different than many of my peers. I do understand each and every one of us has our own unique life stories to tell.
When I was a child in elementary school I struggled with my studies and it got so much worse as I passed on from one grade to another. I loved school, my teachers and those that were my classmates, but I had a learning problem; I could not retain anything I read therefore putting me at a great disadvantage. Most of the teachers in that day did not understand anything about learning disabilities, so I struggled and went to school frustrated because of this, but I did graduate but was just by the skin of my teeth. I was told by many of those who taught me, that I would never amount to anything I just did not have it they would say. I had one teacher that I credit with helping me, having faith in me and understanding my problem. She worked with me one on one and even during the summer I would go to her house for reading help. Her name was Mrs. Arlene McCurley, a student’s friend, who was serious about our education.
I developed my own method of reading when I became an adult. I still have a retention problem, I find myself loosing interest in reading even today. I have a problem with transposing numbers, letters and even words to this day. The difference is I know I have these problems and I work very hard in making sure I understand. I read so many books in a year now that it sometimes scares me. I have even published three of my own books. I write an average of three messages that I preach each week and sometimes more.
I have a resume’ that is very long, I have been involved in so many different types of jobs, sales, marketing’s, businesses and even several types of ministry. I look back and remember when I started out as a young man I just wanted a good job to support my young family. I was not a lazy young man I always had a decent job. I often worked a part-time job and always did sideline things to make enough money for my family. In 1976 I quite my full time job with Continental Oil Company and went into business.
The struggles of those early years, I had no direction in my life and had really no dreams or lifetime goals. I acted and react through those first years of marriage and even as a dad. My life was always in turmoil. I struggled in being a good husband and a good father. My spiritual life was so affected by my own personal struggles in life.
In 1978 my family moved to Lake Charles, Louisiana, our lives were in such turmoil and in shambles. We started attending Apostolic Temple, pastored by Rev. M. D. Treece who began teaching us how to live life and to live spiritually. His teaching changed my life for sure.
I was 29 years old when we moved to Lake Charles and my life was upside down in every phase of it. Once I began to get my spiritual life in focus, everything else started to fall into place. None of these things happened overnight, it was a process of time, but my life began to change for the better. Ten and one half years later I decided it was time for me to heed the call of God that I felt was on my life. My two sons were grown and on their own. My wife began to travel around the nation with me from one church to another, as I would preach revival meetings. I was forty years old. All I had on my mind was seeing people being forgiven of their sins and being filled with the Holy Ghost and their lives being changed.
What great stories we have to tell about our travels all over the USA and even into Canada. I traveled as an evangelist for over eleven years. I preached revivals in sixteen different states, went to Alaska eleven times and into Whitehorse, Yukon, Canada nine times.
We saw so many great things happen during this time of our evangelistic ministry. Thousands of people came to the altar and repented and were filled with the Holy Ghost. We saw the power of God in action as He performed miracles, signs and wonders too numerous to even begin to mention. People were delivered from drugs, alcohol and all types of perversions. Broken hearts were mended, lives were changed and families were brought back together again. Such a wonderful experience we had as we traveled preaching this great gospel for eleven years.
At the end of 1999 we were called to a small church just outside Rome, Georgia. This was a new phase in our ministry endeavor. I went there with a mission, purpose and a vision. I had set some short-term attainable goals and some long-term attainable goals. The first year and a half everything seemed to be so good and we were making some progress and were actually setting so many church records. Then it happened, people started to leave. I would call them and they would say, “Brother it has nothing to do with you or your wife, we just feel the Lord leading us in a new direction.” Then the feedback would come in from other people in the church who were their friends and they would tell me the people were offended by my preaching or they said they were just not getting fed.
I have since moved to a small country church just outside Collins, Mississippi. I have found the problems that I left behind in Rome, Georgia are as prevalent in this church that I now pastor. I came here also with dreams and goals, but I have not been able to be successful in seeing any of them come to fruition. I have found this to be a non-progressive church. They do not want change or growth of any type. They do not desire to grow in spiritual ways either. This church is stuck in their old handed down traditions. When I as the pastor do preach truth to them they as a whole cannot or will not tolerate it.
Oh the pains of being a pastor and the pressures of trying to pastor people without offending them. I have found the people that I work hardest to rescue from sin; the ones that I put the most efforts in at keeping them together are the ones that it seems to hurt me the most. Usually after about three to four years some of these decide they want to go back to their old lifestyles and live in carnality and sin once again. They do not want anyone to think less of them, so most often they first change churches. They find a church that is growing and is becoming larger than most, and this church is usually not in their town.
This is the kind of notes pastors receive from those who are leaving the church: “Dear pastor...there are no words to express how much I and my family love you and your wife. No matter what you have heard, you have never offended us...never. You have always shown my family love and I know that was never put on. You are a sincere man and a great preacher, best pastor we have ever known. I have learned, that sometimes in life individuals and even families have to step away from what everyone expects them to be, to become who they really need to be. Our walk with God has never been any stronger than it is today and we owe the majority of that to you. You have taught us how to be true Christians by the life we have seen you live. No matter where we go, or how long we stay, the church we are leaving will always be our home. We love you, with all our hearts hope you do well, as we go.”
I no longer have the drive nor the stamina to deal with this type pain and these pressures that come from people that I really do love and want to see succeed in their living for God. It is sad to say, but when I leave this little country church I have made a vow to myself and to my wife that I will never pastor another church again. I will continue to preach, teach and minister this gospel of truth. I will write teaching series for younger pastors to use, I will write books, blogs and love the Lord Jesus Christ with all my heart.
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